Saturday, February 9, 2013

On the Death of A Dear Friend and Coven Sister

"Depression is not a sign of weakness, it's just a sign that we have been strong for too long."
--  Elizabeth Gilbert

Thank the Goddess we were able to have a real Wiccan funeral for you! I don't know that you would have withstood lies told on your behalf of a faith you didn't want and didn't know.  Bless your family for giving that to your spirit, and to your coven-mates.
  We were so much more than friends and coven-mates, but family. 
  You taught me so much in our 8 years together, and I wish we had had many more.

You taught me that even though I speak up more than others, I do not speak up enough.
It's okay to piss people off on occasion (which is what happens when you speak up!), the ones you need in your life will forgive you.  It's okay to speak up, even if you know damn good and well it will do no good at all, in fact, maybe that's the most important time.
You taught me to tell people how I feel about them.  To not withdraw or try to hide my feelings from myself even if they are unfortunate feelings.
  You were/are compassionate, fiery, fierce, loving, caring, beautiful, strong.  Every cause you stood behind benifitted from those things.
I tried so hard to live without you these past few years.  Had I been more honest with myself I would have busted down your door.  As it stood, I was afraid of pushing you further away by overstepping your boundaries.  I honestly don't know that it would have helped but perhaps I would have felt better for having tried...

For Lisa...
Do not cry for me
Remember my happy times and forgive me my bad ones
for who knows what choices are right or wrong in this shifting, illusory world.
  What other knows the tests we each face or what the true answer may be?
Take a place outside of judgement and reach that place of understanding and love.

I think you know now how much people loved you.

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